When things are ticking along nicely I don't take much notice of how when or even why they could change. Its not till it happens that I suddenly have to re think things to either make it make sense or even to sort it out (if its a permanent thing) into some kind of order.
This said, its all very well if its a trivial thing it can be done in the blink of an eye normally, even for someone with very little in the way of brains like myself, and I can usually do this even when there are quite a few trivial things going on.
The crunch happens when its not trivial, its something I care about and which means something to me the way it is/was! And now its changed or being changed into something so totally unrecognisable that its scary! I wonder if I'm in a dream sometimes as other people seem to be happily going with the flow and here am I desperately swimming up stream clutching at broken branches!
I have some good friends, in fact I have some very good friends who are great when it comes to being a shoulder to cry on or an ear for me to scream into. The problem comes when I am not allowed to tell anybody what is eating away at me because the body concerned has said not to until it has been investigated and sorted out. Well that's just great... and to cap it all I and those who are "in the loop" know that the body concerned will walk away smelling of coffee and fresh bread whilst behind them lays a trail of destruction and confusion. Well mark my words, when this is all over if that does happen I for one will not just sit back and watch that happen. I am not the calm placid person my husband is... I am feisty and gobby... no one who messes with me and mine should expect to come out of it unscathed!
You will be able to read it all here for a start. My words and my opinions.
MY FAMILY FIRST
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